Thursday, November 29, 2007

teddy tunes

some folks in Sudan need to take a chill pill or maybe start smoking some weed. maybe i'm being a bit naive here but imprisoning a teacher for letting her second graders name a teddy bear Muhammad is on the ridiculously radical side of things. and then going so far as to close the school for the rest of the year? so its honorable to kill people and punishable to name a teddy bear after a boy in your class. people can be so strange.


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Monday, November 26, 2007

there's a story, 'bout a lovely...

once upon a time there was a neeval weaval named nebbit. nebbit the neeval weaval was a nice neeval weaval, a regular sized neeval weaval, but nebbit wanted to be bigger. he wasn't going to get any bigger but since he really wanted to be bigger he was going to figure out another way. nebbit thought and thought. he walked out to his garden and talked to plants. none of his plants had any ideas on how he could be bigger. he went to his closet and talked to his backpack. his backpack didn't have any ideas but he did want to go for a hike, so nebbit took his backpack to the top of a mountain. it was really hard. really really hard. when nebbit got to the top he felt a little bigger. he had an idea. what if he climbed mountains all the time? if he felt a little bigger after climbing one mountain than maybe he would feel a lot bigger after climbing a lot of mountains all the time. he started to climb. he wasn't very good at it, in fact, he was terrible. he couldn't do it. he didn't want to do it anymore because it was hard work and he didn't want to work that hard. he still wanted to be bigger though so he had to come up with a different idea. he thought and thought and thought. he talked to his plants and he talked to his backpack. he thought and talked and talked and thought. finally, it came to him. nobody had to know he couldn't climb mountains. he would tell them he could and tell them he was good and then all his friends would think he was big and no one would know he was just like everyone else. he began to tell everyone he could climb mountains. he had climbed one, so it was sort of true. he told his friends. he told his acquaintances. sometimes he told complete strangers. so everyone thought nebbit the neeval weaval was one of the best climbers of mountains ever. soon his friends started to ask if he wanted to climb with them. if he was so good and so big surely he would. nebbit hadn't thought of that. even in all his thinking he hadn't considered that. nebbit made plans with this friend kibble to climb a mountain. nebbit didn't want to let his friend know that he couldn't climb a mountain that well. he couldn't let kibble know. kibble would tell teton and teton would tell jax and jax would tell someone else and then everyone would know nebbit couldn't climb mountains and that nebbit wasn't big at all. he couldn't let that happen. he didn't want that to happen, so nebbit made plans anyway. the day came to meet kibble but since he didn't want kibble to know he was actually terrible nebbit the neeval weaval never showed up. kibble called nebbit on his neeval weaval on his neeval weaval mobile but nebbit was scared and he couldn't come up with a good enough excuse fast enough so nebbit didn't answer his neeval weaval mobile. kibble didn't want to climb alone and he wanted to know if nebbit was still coming so kibble kept calling. nebbit hit the cancel button on his neeval weaval mobile. kibble decided nebbit wasn't coming. kibble wasn't happy. nebbit made plans with another friend but never showed up. nebbit wanted everyone to think he could enough thought he couldn't so he kept making plans but never showed up. soon his friends were all unhappy with nebbit. whether he could climb mountains or not he was the worst neeval weaval ever. he wasn't the worst because he couldn't climb, but because he never showed up. soon everyone knew, even complete strangers, that nebbit the neeval weaval wasn't big, he was very small and he lost all his friends.

don't talk yourself bigger than you are because when someone finds out (and someone always does) you will be smaller than when you started.