Hello Kitty

I have hide 'n go seek jitters that come from the anticipation of being discovered. I'm sitting in the closet. I've been in here for 15 minutes. My feet are already going numb and my back is cramping. Why did I think this would be doable for two hours? I'm anticipating Paul's call or text inquiring where I am.

I think I hear a door shut....My hands stop typing....My ears strain to detect noise but my sinus infection hopelessly clogged them...I pray they don't notice my computer cord.

I won't liken my condition to Anne Frank. This predicament is of my own choosing and while I could get in trouble for this little charade my life wouldn't be at stake, at least I hope it wouldn't, if it is, then the real estate business is worse than I thought. I had 30 minutes to find a suitable place but honestly I am too sick and too exhausted to look for something outside of the house.

I can hear the central heating turn on...thirty minutes now....still no show. I'm stocked with everything I need: tea...check....snacks....check....water, cell phone, computer, headphones...check, check, check and check....dang, forgot tissues. If my nose starts to run I'll have to sacrifice the tank top. The nervousness is starting to dwindle. Confidence builds as time ticks by. Hopefully the monument of duffel bags will obscure any outsiders vision of the stowaway in the back of this closet perchance they open the door. My phone rings. I hope at first that its the centralized showing calling to say they cancelled. I could get out and stretch my legs. Heck, I could get out and start dinner. Its Paul. "hello?" I whisper. Paul: "What are you up to?" Me still whispering: "hiding..." Paul, now whispering because its contagious: "Where?" Me: "in the closet...i feel too sick to bike anywhere and they scheduled another showing at the last minute" Paul: "so I'm guessing I shouldn't come home right away?" Me: "Do a drive by, if there is no car, come inside and hide with me, if not, wait. I'll text you when they leave." "I think I hear something...Gotta go." Click.

Definitely a car door shut. My heart is starting to pound. Confidence vanished. Doorbell rings. I don't answer. Obviously. Someone rattles the lock box and comes inside. By the sound of the footsteps its only one person. All the gusto I've built up comes crashing down. I suddenly feel very vulnerable. My pits are sweating profusely. Someone is looking through my things, well, I guess its mostly the staged things, but my things too. I'm not worried that he or she will find me. I pull a blanket over my head as purely precautionary. Footsteps come closer. "Hello Kitty" Its a male voice. I'm guessing Kitteh's head peeks over the pillows surrounding her lair. She always does that. Either that or I'm in much more trouble than I thought. Footsteps back away. They head upstairs. Sounds like this is a quick looksey. He's in the master bath now. Wait. What is that? He's PEEING?! He flushes. I can't tell if he washes his hands. Footsteps coming down the steps. It sounds like he's moving something in the living room. The door suddenly shuts. Did he leave? Is he coming back?

My phone rings. Its centralized. "Ma'am?, Mr. Delaney has left the building and you are free to return to your home." Me: "Thanks." Click. I begin to extract myself from my fort.

I text Paul: "He came.Said 'Hello Kitty'.He peed.He left.What a dip-shit.U can come home."