Catastrophe...

It feels as though the joys of being a pre-school teacher are few and far between these days. The following account is what I thought was an anomaly of a day but in the following two weeks that I failed to “blog it” it has since become the norm.

It started out like every other day. Parents bringing their kids to school, a few lingering, a few dropping and running. The occasional kid shedding a few tears once they realized mom or dad had vanished yet again. My co, Lara and I juggling between comforting the emotionally fragile and engaging the rambunctious in the days activities. By lunch time, I, the rookie, suggested a picnic for a change of scenery. Lara paused for a second and then agreed. Had she voiced her opinion the day may have changed course. Eleven Lunch-boxes, 11 children, 2 books, and a package of wipes wiggled their way out the door to the garden. Everyone started to dig in. A bee arrived and most of the kids merely noted it. Stanson on the other hand started to scream and bury his boogery nose in my back. I tried to calm him down but as far as he was concerned lunch was over and the only place he wanted to be was inside. That reminded the other kids that they were needing to play instead of eat so a game of hop down the concrete steps started. I had no sooner asked the kids to slow down and walk down the steps when one focused little girl decided to shove another out of the way to get to the bottom first. The second kid still made it first, but with her face. Then the chaos started.

I run inside with bleeding nose and noggin shiner kid to get an ice pack and see our next door classroom teacher balancing one of her students who is shooting vomit out his mouth and blood out his nose while consoling her own daughter who seems to be in the throws of hysteria. I grab the ice and run back outside, still holding our first victim of the afternoon and tell Lara about the dilemma in our shared classroom. She runs inside to get throw-up boy, Ted, so the other teacher can console her daughter. We decide the picnic is a bust so we gather the carnage and literally toss it back into our classroom and try to get our kids to join our shared classroom's pupils in the playground so we can divide and conquer. Have you ever tried to herd cats? That is what its like. We do a quick head count and discover we are missing one. Of course we are. Still balancing kids in our arms we split to search, finding him in another playground on the other end of the garden. We encourage him to join the group, just short of using expletives. Right then, Calliou gets stung, Ted projectiles again and Stanson is still having a meltdown. We miraculously get all the kids in one place and I run for the hazmat materials. Calliou seems calm enough so he's not the first to triage. Our little Brit, Ollie, waddles over to me as I'm trying to contain Ted's former lunch before some kid decides to make a sand castle out of it and informs me he's soiled his trousers (it just happens to be his first day in undies). That tips the scales and I race up to the front office, Ollie in tow, and plead for help. One teacher stops me to say, “Umm, I don't know if you realize but his pants are wet.” YA THINK!! AHHHHHHH!

Back in the classroom and back-up arrives, I head back outside to make sure the other teachers are ok and that we still have all our kids. Nope and no. A different one is missing. Alan has pushed the gate open to get back into the garden. And my Co has vomit on her leg. I hold the door open with my foot while helping her wrap a towel around her waist as she gingerly balances Ted in her arms. I lose my balance and release the heavy metal door just as another one of our escape artists tries to make a run for it, the door catches her in between it and the frame. She lets out a wail. I drop the towel and trip as I turn to prevent Chloe from getting squished. I grab her just in time. Then I yell for another teacher to grab Alan from the garden.

Somehow we get the kids cleaned up and settled in the nap room less than 30 minutes later, then we draw straws for who gets to go home and shower first.

Names have been changed but the events are actual and did indeed happen all in one flipping day!