change of address

after i wipe the fear tears from my eyes, snot from my nose and change my underwear i can relate a story to you.........sniff........ok, here it is.

a few months ago paul and i moved into an apartment complex. the same one becky and i lived in when we first moved here. the neighborhood must have plummeted since '04 because i just had the scare of my life. this morning, i hear the front door knob rattle, like someone was expecting it to be unlocked. paul always greets the door with a key, even when i unlock it for him. i look through the peep-hole and see a young dark-haired caucasian dude trying his key in the door. i open the door to tell him he's got the wrong place but he continues to walk in, realizing milli-seconds later that he indeed is in the wrong place. embarrassed, he turns and bolts, mumbling an apology. a couple hours later i hear another knock, i look through the peep-hole again, this time, no-one. i thought maybe it was one of the managers putting up a flyer in our door-post clip. i open the door and turn to look at the clip. i am face-to-face with a big burly SWAT officer in defense stance, his hand on his gun. just below him is big-burly SWAT officer no. 2 with hand on gun and other one on his radio. his confused/astonished look matches mine, apparently i don't resemble a 6' red-haired dude. he asks for some guy with a J-name...(seeing the gun made me lose memory, among other things). i told him only my husband and i live here and i didn't know who it was he was asking for. he asked who we were. i told him. again. then the interrogation started, in which i related the previous curiously coincidental happenings of random dude entering. followed by a miniature re-enactment prompted by officer no. 1. he asked, nay, scolded me for not reporting it. (how was i supposed to know some felon gave our address as his phony address.) they told me to call my husband and let him know what was going on. they left, i shakily dialed the phone and asked paul if we could get a dog, a big one with really big teeth, trained to carry a holster and a gun and flush the toilet or if we could just change our address and get the dog.

He said he'd think about it.