If Dwight Shrute was a Blonde Sorority Girl...

I've started a new job...again. I am beginning to wonder if I subconsciously strive for continuous change or if its just my current lot in life. Also, I've moved from my CSI obsessions towards The Office episodes and, yes, for those of you asking, I checked out the British version, and while I do like British humor, the US version, in my opinion, is far superior. So, since I've dabbled now in watching eccentric characters I am now learning to interact with a few at my new job. I know its to be expected, living in Boulder and all, but one particular blond creature veers from 'Boulder Norm' and creates a persona all her own. For anonymity sake and avoiding a defamation of character lawsuit, I'll call her Stacy.

In a fortnight the classrooms will be re-divided with the start of a new school year and I won't have as much interaction with this Stacy character. For now she is providing me with some interesting writing material. I've been working there for a week now, 5 days, and she has yet ceased to shock and amuse me and somehow makes the wait till next season of The Office more bearable. I wish I was creative enough to make a character like this up.

Day 1: She informs me she's made out with 5 different guys in the past 3 weeks. (Keep in mind I met this girl about 45 minutes prior to this revealing.)
Day 2: She spends an hour of documentation time to show the other teachers some of her 'matches' on the web including the most recent one who she is planning a date with but is worried he'll ruin the wedding pictures, presuming there is a long-term future.
Day 3: I find out she was a sorority girl AND a cheerleader back in 'the day'. She also tells me that in the Hierarchy of Staff at this school, I'm actually at the bottom and she's actually right above me. She also ever-so-thoughtfully tells me that I remind her of herself when she first started, but that now she's just too burned out to care anymore. I wasn't sure if it was a warning or an excuse.
Day 4: She disappears for an hour leaving me and the other co-teacher with the kids, only to show up later, take a kid to the office, without letting us know, and is suddenly surprised when we start searching for the child. Our bad...our telepathy must have been experiencing technical difficulties.
Day 5: TGIF! Apparently on Wednesday a father had left a few bakery items for the early morning teachers and mentioned it to Stacy this morning, asking her if she'd got one. She hadn't. Up until then, though, she had remained blissfully unaware she had been left a treat. Shocked and perturbed someone dare eat a croissant that presumably had her name on it she traveled for the next hour on the investigative war-path. Even calling a teacher at home to track it down. I suggested that it was probably eaten already. It didn't matter, the mystery needed to be unturned! She said she just couldn't let it go. (Obviously.) After all was said and done, another teacher had eaten it. Surprise. What, you mean it wasn't lovingly labeled and set aside under lock and key until Stunning Stacy could partake?? I wish I'd known about the pastry on Wednesday. I could have eaten it...or saved it for her in a casket of jello.

I can only begin to imagine what this next week will hold...I can't wait.