splish splash

did you know its nearly impossible to read without your elbows? it may just be the fact that i'm a lazy reader but i've discovered that i use them whether i'm sitting at the table, reclining on the futon or lying on the floor.

here is how i came to that realization. i will give them in step format so you too can discover how much you truly need your elbows for reading.

1. step into hot shower (works best in bathtub/shower with sides that slope up)
2. during process of soaping up ones self, remember to scrub your feet.
3. use a bar of soap or liquid body wash, work up a good lather, apply to left foot.
4. step down, balancing all weight on newly soaped left foot, pick up right foot.
5. fall backwards into wall and/or faucet and try to stop yourself with elbow (your choice).
6. hit elbow so hard you think you broke it right then and there.
7. regain composure and rinse off.
8. dry off, get dressed.
9. pick out favorite book, (or one you are currently engrossed in) and try to read.
10. realize now that your elbow hurts so badly you can no longer prop your book up, therefore you can no longer read.

moral of the story:
rinse off one foot before you soap up the other or sacrifice a week of no reading.